Monday, September 24, 2012

It's a Woman's Prerogative

Well, I sat down last night to start writing.  I was feeling a need to vent, talk it out, give an update on life.  I'm going to leave my writing as it is for you to read, but I might decide to change course a bit at the end {Smile}

"I'm not really sure how to start this blog post.  It seems like since I started this "blogging journey" that my most popular posts are the ones where I am the most vulnerable.  So, I think that's where I'm going to go this evening...I'm in a very odd place.  I'm not sad or depressed.  I'm not stressed or anxious or worried.  I don't necessarily feel alone.  But I do feel kind of isolated.  My husband made a comment this weekend regarding our move.  He said that people have been asking him how our family has been doing since moving to Wisconsin.  His reply was that he thinks I am having the most difficulty.  At the time I was taken aback, but the more I've thought about it, I realize that he's right.  He made the point that I was completely immersed with getting everything ready and organized, making sure that our little family would make it through the transition as smoothly as possible.  However, I didn't take the time to prepare myself.  {Well, duh, isn't that what we Moms do?! {Smile}}  We arrived here just days before my husband's first day of work and the kids' first day of school.  We rushed to unpack and get settled and then they all went off on their new adventures and I sat alone in an empty house.  Hmmm....Don't get me wrong, we are venturing out, starting to meet people and we have found our new church.  But it takes time.  Time to get to know people, time for them to get to know you.  It takes time to build relationships and to develop trust.  This is the part of moving that I wasn't looking forward to.  And so it is in this lull that I currently sit.  Not quite sure what to do with myself.  However, deep down I know just that - that this is a lull.  There are friends to be made, community to be found.  And I'm excited and hopeful for what is ahead, I just need the patience to get there!"

So, not a whole lot has changed since last night - I'm still in that place.  However, I think that I lost focus for awhile.  I started looking to the immediate, the here, the now.  I lost sight of the fact that we came here with a purpose.  Not just for my husband, but for all of us.  I have a heart for missions, women, moms and music.  Right now I get to take a little respite, take some time and refocus on those things and what I can do with them here.  I get to walk around with eyes-wide-open and an expectant heart just waiting for the right doors to open.

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