It's a Woman's Prerogative

Well, I sat down last night to start writing.  I was feeling a need to vent, talk it out, give an update on life.  I'm going to leave my writing as it is for you to read, but I might decide to change course a bit at the end {Smile}

"I'm not really sure how to start this blog post.  It seems like since I started this "blogging journey" that my most popular posts are the ones where I am the most vulnerable.  So, I think that's where I'm going to go this evening...I'm in a very odd place.  I'm not sad or depressed.  I'm not stressed or anxious or worried.  I don't necessarily feel alone.  But I do feel kind of isolated.  My husband made a comment this weekend regarding our move.  He said that people have been asking him how our family has been doing since moving to Wisconsin.  His reply was that he thinks I am having the most difficulty.  At the time I was taken aback, but the more I've thought about it, I realize that he's right.  He made the point that I was completely immersed with getting everything ready and organized, making sure that our little family would make it through the transition as smoothly as possible.  However, I didn't take the time to prepare myself.  {Well, duh, isn't that what we Moms do?! {Smile}}  We arrived here just days before my husband's first day of work and the kids' first day of school.  We rushed to unpack and get settled and then they all went off on their new adventures and I sat alone in an empty house.  Hmmm....Don't get me wrong, we are venturing out, starting to meet people and we have found our new church.  But it takes time.  Time to get to know people, time for them to get to know you.  It takes time to build relationships and to develop trust.  This is the part of moving that I wasn't looking forward to.  And so it is in this lull that I currently sit.  Not quite sure what to do with myself.  However, deep down I know just that - that this is a lull.  There are friends to be made, community to be found.  And I'm excited and hopeful for what is ahead, I just need the patience to get there!"

So, not a whole lot has changed since last night - I'm still in that place.  However, I think that I lost focus for awhile.  I started looking to the immediate, the here, the now.  I lost sight of the fact that we came here with a purpose.  Not just for my husband, but for all of us.  I have a heart for missions, women, moms and music.  Right now I get to take a little respite, take some time and refocus on those things and what I can do with them here.  I get to walk around with eyes-wide-open and an expectant heart just waiting for the right doors to open.

Recombobulation Area

I can almost collectively hear you all saying "huh?" as you look at the title of this post.  It will make sense in a minute, I promise! 

If any of you have been to the Milwaukee airport, you may have seen the sign as you exit the security checkpoint....Recombobulation Area.  Buddy and I noticed it after one of our many recent visits to this particular airport.  We both cocked our heads to the side and started laughing - what a funny phrase!  It didn't strike me at the time, but it has repeatedly come to mind over the past two months.  I am now in my own personal Recombobulation Area.

Recombobulation:   1. Something being put back the way it was, or into proper working order;   2. Gathering one's thoughts or composure.

You may have noticed that I have not blogged in a really, really long time.  For those who know me, you know why.  But for those who are strangers, let me bring you into my world!  My family and I recently completed a huge move.  We have moved before, but always local, never having to change much {doctors, schools, church, friends, stores, favorite hangouts, whatever}.  This time was different.  We uprooted our kids and moved 6 hours east.  As a kid, my family made some big moves - Minnesota, North Dakota, Montana, Texas, back to North Dakota.  It would be a massive understatement to say that I have a new appreciation for my parents!  I could get into all of the minute details, but lets just say it is a lot of work - mentally, physically and emotionally - to pack up and move a family of 6.  I'm still in recovery. {Smile}

Our story is not a short one.  For as long as we have been married, we have been in a partial state of happy discombobulation.  We got married young, had a baby, lived with my in-laws for 2 1/2 years while my hubby went to school {the first time}, built two homes, had more babies, went through job changes, a bad ecomony, unemployment and my husband went through school again {while working full time!}.  It sounds rough, but through all of that, we always knew that God had us right where he wanted us.  Time and time again, He showed us who He is, His love, His mercy, His grace and above all, His indiscriminate favor.  We knew that if we just kept following His lead, we would land on our feet right where He wanted us.  I can now say that after 13 years, we have found that place.  My husband took a position in a field that will change our lives.  We have signed on, together, as a family.  His job is now our mission.  I love that!  I have no idea what the future holds, but I'm okay with that.  We are where we are supposed to be!

So, we now find ourselves in the "recombobulation" phase.  My husband is loving his new job.  Peanut has made many new friends and loves her teacher.  Bug seems to be doing fine.  Squirt {who just started Kindergarten!} can't get to school fast or often enough.  Buddy had a rough start, but is starting to settle in.  Me....yeah, maybe I'm the one still trying to "gather, compose, put into working order".   The house is unpacked and organized.  The kids are off to school.  And now it is time.  Time to find life here.  Uncover all of the new places to see, know, visit and love.  Time to find my place. 

Stirring...

There's been something stirring lately.  Actually, a little more than lately.  The past few months there have been small discussions, little drops of conversation and some mulling inside of my head.  I think that most of you know by now that I like to serve.  I love missions, mission trips, helping others.  We have always felt called in some unique way to live it out.  In my brain, I always thought that "calling" must be or would be overseas.  Parts of my heart live in Africa and Haiti.  I cannot wait to go back!  But then there is the stirring...

One of the conversations that happened a couple of months ago had to do with people's willingness to serve over oceans and across continents, but their unwillingness to serve their neighbor, their community.  Even worse, the unwillingness to serve those who scare us, who seem too rough-on-the-edges, dirty, {let's be really honest here...} but maybe those who seem "less than".  I'm guilty.  Guilty of being scared.  Guilty of using the excuse that I need to stay safe or keep my kids safe.  Guilty of being "busy". 

Not to say that you should drop your guard or not be street smart.  You should always be aware and be cautious.  But I've seen some things lately.  Paying it forward doesn't take much.  Look people in the eye when you say hello.  Give a truly warm smile when you ask how they are.  SEE them.  Everyone wants to be seen.  Everyone wants to be loved.  There are people right where we live who need to be touched.  What would happen if we all slowed down, just a little, to see, to smile, to ask? 

I guess the point I'm trying to make is that it's important to serve.  Overseas, at home, next door, down the street and "downtown".  Live it out, love it out.  You never know what your impact will be!

Purple Mountains

My family and I have been on vacation for almost 2 weeks!   We have never been away from home for that long and never over the 4th of July {which is our favorite holiday!}  I have to admit that I was a little concerned about spending the 4th away from all of our usual hot spots and all of our traditions, but our location proved to be an excellent place to celebrate the birthday of our beautiful country!  We started our westward trek by stopping at Devil's Tower, WY, climbing as high as we possibly could.  Then we ventured onward to Yellowstone National Park.  The sheer size is daunting, but the beauty is unsurpassed!  In thinking about how to blog and share just a little snippet of our travels, all that kept coming to mind was the lyrics to one of my favorite anthems.  And as I read through them, I realized that we don't normally hear all of them, so hopefully you can soak in the words and enjoy some of our pictures!

O beautiful, for spacious skies

For amber waves of grain,

For purple mountain majesties,

Above the fruited plain!

America!  America!
God shed His grace on thee!
And crown thy good with brotherhood,
From sea to shining sea!

O beautiful, for pilgrim feet,
whose sterm impassioned stress,
A thoroughfare of freedom beat,
Across the wilderness!
America!  America!
God mend thine every flaw,
Confirm thy soul in self-control,
Thy liberty in law!

O beautiful, for heroes proved,
In liberating strife,
Who more than self their country loved,
And mercy more than life!
America!  America!
May God thy gold refine,
Til all success be nobleness,
And every gain devine!

O beautiful, for patriot dream,
That sees beyond the years,
Thine alabaster cities gleam,
Undimmed by human tears!
America!  America!
God shed His grace on thee,
And crown thy good with brotherhood,
From sea to shining sea!

And a few more just for fun!






Old Faithful!

The opening....

...and on the other side!

Rocky!!



And now to fulfill our #1 July 4th tradition!





What Me Worry??

Wow!  It has been awhile since I've been on here!  Isn't it amazing how time flies?  Life in my house the past month has me feeling like I'm the Old Woman who lived in a shoe {Smile}  Okay, yes, I have "lots" of kids, but not that many!  And I do wonder what she felt like every day.  Trying to keep up with everyone's schedules, laundry, discipline, teaching, cleaning, feeding, all while living in a giant shoe!  {That image just makes me giggle!}

Anyways, what I wanted to say was that over the last month, in the midst of my crazy, busy life, I have become a worrier.  And I am NOT a worrier.  I have been worrying over the future, over the past, over the now.  Where are we going, what are we doing?  What about this, what about that?  Argh, it's so frustrating!  Normally, I am the quintessential glass half-full, God's-got-this, no-big-deal kinda girl.  I am not sure what has gotten into me! 

Well, like the Big Man Upstairs likes to do, He has been providing me with some great reminders and some really good words on this whole topic of Worry.  There's been random drops of wisdom from strangers who don't even know who I am or where my head is at!  Just a little nudge - God is in control,  He's got this.  A wise reminder - why would God take care of the big details and then leave the little ones?  Then Pastor Tom got up and spoke this past Sunday.  Of course it was one of those messages where I felt like he was talking right at me.  I just want to share a couple of the verses from that morning.  Maybe someone else out there is feeling a bit like me, worrying, fretting or even just questioning where you are at.  Be reminded that you aren't alone! 

Matthew 6:34:
          So don't worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries.  Today's trouble is enough for today.

Phillipians 4:6-7:
          Don't fret or worry.  Instead of worrying, pray.  Let petition and praises shape your worries into prayers, letting God know your concerns.  Before you know it, a sense of God's wholeness, everything coming together for good, will come and settle you down. 

Phillipians 4:11-13
          I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances.  I know what it is to be in need and I know what it is to have plenty.  I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want.  I can do everything through Him who gives me strength.

Old Blue Eyes

My family and I are traveling this weekend, spending time in Pennsylvania and Ohio. The majority of our extended families live out East and it is so much fun to be able to come and spend time with them!

We spent yesterday afternoon with my husband's grandfather, who just the day before had turned 93! It's amazing to think of what he has witnessed in those 93 years, from 1919 to 2012. We always love to hear his stories of World War II, traveling through France, England, Germany, Poland and Russia and to hear his perspective of growing up as a farm boy in the Pennsylvania countryside. But this visit was different. He had his tales to tell and he is still so independent! However, he would forget who we were, why we were here and he couldn't quite understand why we would be here to visit him. It is so hard to watch our loved ones age! I'm not sure why God made it so that we go back out much the same way we came in. It became harder this time to have our usual conversations, so we found ourselves just sitting in his company, knowing he was just happy not to be alone. The hardest part was saying goodbye. He thanked us for the ride home from dinner, as though we were strangers who brought him home out of the goodness of our hearts. I wanted to hug him, but he wasn't too sure about me, so we shook hands instead. It's heart-wrenching, but it's okay. He may not remember me, but I know him. I know the man who was a husband of almost 70 years, a father of 5, a United States Army veteran, farmer, fisherman, hunter, grandfather of 4, great-grandfather of 7, with gentle, bright blue eyes that he gave to my daughter. We hold his memories, since they are now a part of our own. It is up to us to share his memories and his stories and be extra careful to listen for those that are yet to come.

Just visiting with Great Grandpa Joe



Those big, blue eyes!



Me, Myself and I

I am one of those Moms who loves to have my kids home for the summer.  I don't want them to be anywhere but at home with me!  However, I have to confess that the first 4 days of summer break have been hell on wheels {Smile}  Lets just say that my four lovely children have NOT been on their best behaviour!  Not to say that I didn't expect some trouble.  Squirt has had 9 months of Mama time all day, every day only to be thrust into constant contact with her 3 older siblings and the 3 big kids now have to hang with eachother all day too.  Some adjustments and a {mostly} family meeting were in order! 

My very smart Husband has been trying to get me to do allowances and chore charts for quite some time.  I, however, being the perfectionist that I am, would just prefer to do all of the laundry, dusting, cleaning, mopping, vaccuming, cooking, dishes, shopping, weeding, appointment-making, bed-making, communications, transportation, etc. because it is just so much easier and faster if me, myself and I take care of everything {Sigh}  Naturally, that isn't working out very well for me.  One person trying to take care of 6 people doesn't really work!  Not to mention the fact that I am robbing my children of the opportunity to learn responsibility, how to work hard and do a good job, plus financial and time management.  I really do want my kids to grow into healthy, hard-working adults!

So, we gathered in our living room this morning to have a little pow-wow.  The kids were all eager to make a plan of action and get organized.  I was more than a little surprised!  They came up with most of their own chores and how we should rotate and take turns.  Here's what we came up with....

Each child has their morning routine list and evening routine list.  Then comes the Responsibility Wheel.  Every Sunday night, we are going to rotate the wheel so that we mix it up and keep it interesting.  {Bonus:  the kids get to learn multiple skills!}

Now, the trick will be making it stick!  Just as much for me as for my kiddos!  {Wink, wink!}